EVERYBODY BANGS EVERYBODY, THE END

[plushrumpus]

The Random (Porn) Scenario Meme 2.0

The Rules
1. Character A: Post to the meme and wait for replies. Name|Series|Prefs
2. Character B: Go to the RNG and roll some numbers. Type first, and then go to that category and roll again.
3. Multiple Lady Gaga/Ke$ha references go here.

Note: If someone is uncomfortable and tells you to back off, please do so. If you are uncomfortable, please tell the other mun. If all else fails, just stop tagging.

Please listen to preferences as well.

Thank you.

Type Of Porn
1. Regular
2. Public
3. Hardcore
4. Roleplaying
5. Toys
6. Fail
7. Misc.

Regular
1. First time - One or Both of you are virgins.
2. Wedding Night - You've been waiting for this night forever. Or maybe not.
3. Masturbation - Put some porn on, get your hand ready, and have a good night with a friend.
4. Blow jobs - Sucky sucky, bucky bucky.
5. Penetrative - There's parking in the rear, or drive through the front.
6. Make up Sex - You did something wrong, and you're going to give this person the best night of their lives.
7. Up against the wall - You couldn't wait when they came in the door.
8. In the shower - Fun in the tub is something worth trying at least once.
9. Get away - You're on a romantic get away. Beach? Some snazzy motel? Whatever you'd like!
10. Been awhile - It's been awhile since you've sene each other, so it's time to make up for lost time!
11. Break up sex - This isn't make up sex, it's goodbye sex!
12. Hook up - You don't really love each other, but you are horny and neither of you is bad looking, so...
13. The big night - You've been dating forever (or maybe not!) and it's time to take the next step!
14. Doggy style - Sex from behind.
15. Frottage - You don't always need to penetrate! Sometimes grinding on each other is more than enough.
16. Spooning - Sex while you spoon... perfect way to start the morning!
17. Couch - Fooling around on the couch!
18. Massage and maybe something more - You want to pamper your lover tonight!
19. Candlelit - Wine, soft music, candlelights... maybe there was even a trail leading to the bedroom! Ultimate cheese.
20. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Public
1. At school - Under the bleachers, in the classroom, in the bathroom... maybe even on the principal's desk.
2. Amusement Park - You ran out of things to do? There's privacy on the ferris wheel.
3. In the park - Always a fun time, just stay away from the washrooms.
4. At the mall - Changing rooms = Happy Sexy Time
5. The sex store - How people are not caught having sex in here sometimes, is beyond me
6. Someone else's home - You so dirty. Hope they don't catch... or maybe you do.
7. Hospital - In the bed, in the restroom, maybe you just need a release from anxious waiting for news on that loved one!
8. In the car - The backseat and foggy windows, over the hood... maybe the engine's still going for that extra thrill!
9. In the woods - Camping or on a hike, you though that tree looked mighty friendly.
10. In the restroom - You couldn't wait to get out of the restaurant or wherever you are, so a stall will just have to do.
11. Under the table - Teasing your lover (or being teased in return!) under the table at a restaurant. Hands, mouth, whatever you can think of.
12. Elevator - Getting off while you're going up, you just can't wait and you don't care who might catch you.
13. Back of the club - You can't wait until you get out of this club to get your hands on each other...
14. At a concert - You don't want to miss the show, but you also don't want to pass up the chance to get a little more intimate either.
15. Against a window - Up against a window where anyone looking could see...
16. Putting on a show - Sex in front of people. Maybe you were really drunk at the bar or someone paid for it... maybe you just want to do it for the thrill.
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Hardcore
1. Non-Con - They say no, you'll make them say yes.
2. Dub-Con - They may have said yes, but it's going to happen anyways.
3. Bondage - Super tight, hanging from things, unable to move, really hot.
4. Fisting - One, two, three, four, five... and then one again.
5. Blood Play - Red is a really lucky color... not for someone.
6. Power Play - Someone is in charge, and will make sure that the other person isn't. People in power are crazy.
7. cock & ball/pussy torture. Clothes pins, hitting, and anything else you can imagine that can make you hurt oh-so-good.
8. Flogging - Spanking, whipping, flogging, and whatever else you can think of. Someone's been naughty.
9. Orgasm denial - They might want to so bad, beg and plead, but you're not going to let the come yet. Or maybe not at all.
10. Forced orgasms - Either made to come multiple times or roughly brought to orgasm despite any discomfort.
11. Double penetration - Either in two separate holes or the same one. It could be two toys, a penis and a toy, two penises... or the combinations are endless! Either way, you're going to be stuffed full.
12. Ice play - Ice cubes on the skin or even inside to cool you down.
13. Wax play - Wax from candles poured over the skin. Doesn't it burn so good?
14. Fighting - It's like Fight Club... only it ends in dirty, dirty sex.
15. Electrosex - Electrical stimulation to nerves for sexual stimulation, in particular the genitals and nipples.
16. Sensory deprivation - it can make orgasms even stronger!
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Roleplay
1. Teacher and Student - Someone needs a better grade.
2. Doctor and Patient - Time to give someone the best bedside treatment they can.
3. Cop and Criminal - Those handcuffs are finally coming in handy.
4. Master and Servant - Those servants have to serve someone. A housewife and butler, rich man and maid... those outfits are hot.
5. Strangers - Oh, you've never met this hot, delicious, naked stranger. Maybe it's time to get acquainted.
6. Enemies - Oh I hate you! Oh but I'll have sex with you anyways!
7. Cowboys - Or cowgirls. Yee-haw!
8. Fireman - or woman. Oh, you're going to be putting out a fire, alright.
9. Pizzaboy - They don't have the money to pay, but you accept other forms of payment, thankfully.
10. Good guy and bad guy - Maybe they're trying to take over the world and the only way to stop the is through hot sex.
11. Vampire and victim - You're going to drink their blood... only probably not.
12. Prostitute - They paid for you.
13. Incest - parent or sibling kink? Go ahead and play it out.
14. Priest - They need to confess to you...
15. Kidnapper - Uh-oh, they got you now! What ever will they do to you?
16. Shy virgin - You're a shy virgin but don't worry, they'll teach you the ropes!
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Toys
1. Dildo - Simple, easy to use, and goes in any proper hole.
2. Vibrator - Tiny and portable, it goes everywhere... and works everywhere.
3. Fleshlight - It's like a hole... but not exactly.
4. Strap-on - Girl or guy. Maybe you're wanting one, or wanting a longer one.
5. Cock Ring - Basically, a trolling way to make sure someone can't finish what they started.
6. Anal Beads/Ben Wa Balls - Maybe a dildo isn't good enough. These toys are balls of fun.
7. Fucking machines - Machines with one purpose only, to fuck you senseless. They usually have a dildo attached and speed controls.
8. unusual objects - Cucumbers, candles, or even electric toothbrushes!
9. Clamps - Nipples, labia, clit, penis, there's not limit to what can be clamped in a sexy way!
10. Playing with danger - The handle of a knife, a gun, it's time to walk on the wild side!
11. Dolls - They make some awfully realistic dolls...
12. Sex swing - A suspended seat made specifically for sex.
13. Water - A detachable shower head, jets in a tub, there are a lot of way to be stimulated!
14. Pumps - Pumps can go over the nipples, clit, or on the penis and create a very stimulating amount of suction.
15. Anal plugs - They vibrate, stimulate, or just keep you ready for fun later.
16. Speculum - Want a look inside?
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Fail
1. Can't get it up - For some reason, you can't get hard. Or, if you're a girl, you're just not getting wet.
2. Not in the mood - You don't know what it is, sex just isn't interesting you tonight.
3. Cramp! - Ow, nothing ruins a mood like an ill timed cramp somewhere!
4. Caught - You just got caught by someone and the reaction isn't a good one!
5. You called me what - Dirty talk got out of hand and the other went a step too far!
6. Distraction - You're just distracted by the phone or the TV or a huge project you've got coming up...
7. It's not you - or yeah, maybe it is. You're just not attracted to the other person anymore (or maybe you never were!)
8. Can't get there - Maybe it's the position or something else, but you just can't get to the big finish, no matter how hard you try. Your partner might not have any problem.
9. Injury - Fell and hit your head, knocked something off on you... somehow you injured yourself!
10. Missing item - Where's the lube? The condoms? Ahh, how can we do this?
11. It broke - Uh-oh. The condom just broke...
12. Gross - Your partner got you to do something or suggested something you're just really not into...
13. Too drunk - Whiskey sounded like fun, but now it's having ill effects on your sex life.
14. Five seconds isn't bad! - You came embarrassingly fast...
15. Guilty - You did something wrong, went behind your lover's back, cheated, or something.
16. I'm fine, really - Or not. You're actually injured, but you don't want your lover to see and they definitely would if you took off any clothes.
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

Misc.
1. Dirty talk - Most people like a little dirty talk... either you've determined to get your lover off with dirty talk alone or you're just getting them in the mood
2. Threesome - Two is fun, three is better. It's fine to play the third person as an NPC if you don't have a third partner.
3. Can we please... - Can we please have a threesome/try this position/do this? Your lover is trying to convince you to spice things up!
4. Phone sex - You want to get your lover off, but you're not right there with them.
5. Dirty pictures/video - You're making a video or taking some sexy pictures for a private collection.
6. Looking at/Watching porn - Enjoying porn together can bring you closer!
7. Sex drug - You've been given a sex drug and you need to get laid right now.
8. Cheating - You're cheating on your lovers with each other.
9. Voyeurism - You want to watch your lover have sex with someone else or for someone to watch the both of you together.
10. Possessed - Your lover isn't... exactly themselves. Too rough? Too gentle? Maybe they weren't even your lover before this...
11. Genderswitched - One or both of you is the other gender!
12. Glory hole - Stimulation awaits on the other side!
13. Sex club - You're in a club specifically for sex. Relax, have fun, try not to interrupt any orgies!
14. Teasing - Sending dirty texts, whispering things in your lover's ear, or just bending over a little too much, you're determined to drive your lover crazy with teasing.
15. Blackmailed - You were blackmailed into doing this...
16. Webcam/IM - You're cybering!
17. Pick your own - Maybe there's something I forgot, or maybe you want to do multiples. Roll a twenty, and go for it.

SHAMELESSLY STOLEN FROM bakerstreet

Comments

/shyshies on here

[cosmompolitan]

[Uuuummmmm I'd rather not do incest. Or thirteen-year-olds. Otherwise, yeah, think we're okay.]

6-11 OH NO THIS IS TERRIBLE

[pheirental]

[ The good news is that it didn't break before they actually got busy! The bad news is that when Dad was trying to open up the package he somehow managed to rip the condom in half. How did he even manage that? Well, it's probably best not to question.

Either way he's standing there looking down at the ripped condom, which was, unfortunately enough, the only one he had on him. ]

Bro Strider // Homestuck // COME AT ME BRO

[plushrumpus]

2-11

[pheirental]

[ Well... if they've gone out for coffee before, it does make sense to eventually invite Bro out to a nice dinner with him. One of those really classy places where the tablecloth literally goes down to the floor, because that's the only way something like this prompt can work without people catching on within the first five seconds. ]

7-4

[cosmompolitan]

[It's midnight in New York, which means it's who-cares-it's-not-like-Strider-has-a-real-job P.M. in Houston, and Mom has been on her feet all day. She collapses across her bed in the lab with a groan, toes off her heels, and waits for her call to connect. It starts to ring as she loosens her belt, and she presses the phone between her cheek and shoulder so that she can reach for her pear martini--second of the night, and she didn't get home until late. It's been one of those days.]

Jake E-- wait you guys know who these people are

[gunsling]

So I guess I'll just toss them on here

[knighthood]

And then go reply to mom and bro with dad or something

[dupable]

John Egbutt // Homosuck // aged up ew no pedo

[windsocks]

he'd rather be making robots u gaiz

[roboshades]

1 - 3 too bad he gets to do other things

[drunkenfist]

[ she can't believe she let herself get talked into this ]

You really gonna make me watch this shitty puppet porn?

4-9 I can't even...

[dupable]

[ So without telling Dirk anything about what his plans were, John disappeared about half an hour ago. No warnings, no hints of where he was heading off to. It was supposed to be a date night but... OOPS.

Though hey, look at that! A half an hour later the doorbell rings. MIGHT WANT TO GET THAT, DIRK. ]

the girl needs all the lovin

[drunkenfist]

you don't wanna sleep with this really

[scalemates]

[ even though she is aged up and stuff ]

1-1 OH HEY this is weirdly fitting.

[sarcaustic]

[ Rose isn't about to admit to being unexperienced though, and as she sits there on the edge of her bed tapping a finger thoughtfully against her chin she's basically trying to figure out some feasible way she can get through this little romp in the sheets while still maintaining the aura of a girl far too knowledgeable and experienced in every imaginable area for her own good. ]

no homo

[insufferable]

[ jk homo ]

1-13

[temporelle]

[ It isn't the first time she's been in his room, or even the first time she sat on his bed... but it is the first time they had decided to do something like this. Together, that is. And she's oddly calm, too. She makes herself comfortable on the messy card suit-patterned bed spread, giving him a look as she moves some strands of her out of her face. ]

So you're sure about this?

0___0 idek OTA

[wrinklefucker]

1 - 7 Oh okay.

[knightime]

[He kind of just swings the door wide open. Careless as ever, plus, he's got grocery bags in his hands.]

Hey, dude. Got cheetos. Couldn't keep the house lacking in the cheetos department. No thanks are necessary though. I even picked up some gushers for you because I'm just that thoughtful.

[He's already slipping his shoes off, always too lazy to untie them.] I know you missed me.

ALSO OTA...

[doubleholster]

:::;)

[manipuleights]

2 - 4

[knightime]

[Wow, they would.

Those sweet ass jeans Dave has been eying? Totally went to go try them on finally. ]

So, why'd you agree to even come? It doesn't looking like you're scoping for any new threads. I mean, not that your old threads are shitty, but you should seriously think of expanding your wardrobe a bit.

ota except hardcore and roleplay 8(

[temporelle]

38)

[abdicated]

[ idgaf ]

ii. 1

[grumpygills]

[ has casually dragged feferi under the bleachers, why not!! ]

—see, it's alright bein' here an' noww, Fef. Wwe're not technically skippin' class if wwe havve gym noww anywways.

[ please take note that their gym period ended somewhere around ten minutes ago, and that eridan isn't even in her class to begin with. ]

ota idgaf

[vestalvogue]