no don't look at this

[plushrumpus]

[It is hot as balls. The kind of hot where the news tells you to crank up the AC and just stay the fuck inside. The kind of hot where the city pretty much shuts down for the day. That's the kind of hot it is. And it's that kind of hot that Bro Strider thrives off of, even if he's stripped down to a wifebeater and boxer briefs and can barely peel himself off the futon even for all the cold beer he's stockpiled in the fridge.

It's painful to actually use that thing, but well, desperate times call for desperate measures. The sword booby trap got boring anyway.

But right now, he kinda doesn't give a fuck about beer. Or the copy of Total Nachopocolypse 4: The Snackening he's got in the 360, flashing brightly on the TV. Or the fact that said prescribed AC is mostly busted, although it's making matters worse. Because more than anything, he's just really... well, restless. Or more specifically, horny. It's just what the heat does to him sometimes.

And hey, blaming it on the fact that he also hasn't gotten laid in a while just isn't quite as interesting.]

Yo lil' man, you sure you ain't down for a little PVP? I'm tired at looking at all of this giant TV by myself, it needs some split-screen action. Like, now.

[Clearly, the answer is to distract himself with video games.]

Comments

[sicknasty]

[ davesprite is basically dying. the heat makes him molt and basically sweat sunny d, and the extra weight of his wings make it even more awful to move around at all. he's fortunate enough to be able to get away with wandering around naked—when after all, nothing to hide up top and his lower half is only a problem when he wants it to be—but that hasn't stopped himself from pressing himself up against the side of the fridge, tail coiled on the ground and body pressed flush to the appliance in hopes of cooling off somehow.

it's not really working, but hey, whatever. ]

Are you fucking kidding, I wouldn't even be able to hold the controller. My hands are sweatier than Satan's asscrack right now.

[ he presses those against the side of the fridge, too, rubbing beads of faintly florescent orange sweat onto it. ]

[plushrumpus]

Yeah, see I'm still not convinced that's exactly healthy, reassuring as it might be for your future career as a living, breathing Gatorade advertisement.

[Bro doesn't half to look away from the screen to know, instead pulling off a sick combo via dumb luck. He's too distracted to put real effort into this.]

Go take a cold shower or something.

[sicknasty]

I already had one earlier. The water ain't running cold anymore.

[ considering that he's been doing this all day, it's hard not to guess. smashed up against the side of the fridge, rubbing all over it and wishing he could absorb some of the cool and that his fucking feathers would stop sticking to him. ]

[plushrumpus]

Fuck, really?

[Yeah, maybe it's for the best that he's not looking. Watching Davesprite getting all up and intimate with large kitchen appliances probably won't help him in any way.]

[sicknasty]

Yeah, the pipes are too hot. It's pretty much spitting boiling water.

[ slowly, slowly sliding down the fridge and onto the floor. he's just going to slither from the kitchen to the living room, gliding like a sidewinder along the floor.

fuck you it's too hot to be sensible. ]

[plushrumpus]

Well my hopes and dreams have now been shattered. Guess we just gotta bottle some up, stick it in the fridge, and take sponge baths from now on.

[His brain sure does go to a place with that. Yep.]

[sicknasty]

Maybe.

[ he lays on the floor at bro's feet, a sticky mess of feathers and glowy orange sweat. ]

I'm dying, Bro.

[plushrumpus]

[Oh fuck you, dude. That is just not fair.]

Yeah?

[Purposefully not paying attention, because he's seriously worried about his urge to fuck everything that moves right now. In fact, he's currently trying to convince himself that the poorly-rendered polygon ass of his player character is actually very attractive so he won't be tempted to look elsewhere.]

[sicknasty]

Help.

[ at least he hasn't devolved into being really pathetic and crawling up Bro's leg or something. he just buries his face in his arms and tries to lay as still as possible. like a frog. a sweaty feathered ghost snake frog boy. ]

[plushrumpus]

Dunno what you're hoping for here, kiddo.

[Buttonmashes furiously.]

[sicknasty]

Anything.

[ watching from the corner of his eye. how can bro be so good at this when it's balls-meltingly hot in here. ]

[plushrumpus]

[Magic, young Padawan. Magic fueled by his pent up boner powers. Which just got stronger, by the way.]

Anything, huh?

[No, Bro. Don't even go there.]