robodicking | 10 things

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10 things

Ten things you want to say to ten different people, but can't/won't/haven't.

i couldnt really tell you what i was thinking back then.
and to be honest i just dont think i was in the first place.
but i dont regret it.
that might be easy for me to say.
my part in it all ended up being pretty fuckin small.
but i wish i could have been there.
and i wish you could be here now to see them.
i bet youd be proud.
i sure am.

dont take this wrong.
but i think youll get what i mean when i say the days after finally meeting you were some of the worst in my life.
there were moments where i think i would have given anything to change the way things were.
i could have too.
it would have put us in even more danger but i could have.
and it just might have been worth it.
but i didnt.

fuck.
i should have been there.
i should have always been there.
and i wasnt.
im sorry.
im so fucking sorry.

kid.
you have balls of steel.
and im really hoping i can bank on them not getting you into deep shit again.
the first time you pulled something like that it started the second rash of near heart attacks ive had in my life.
and i dont know if its quite ended yet.
but hey.
least things are different now.
and you and me.
by some force of nature we ended up a lot alike.
you ever decide to do something crazy again and you better let me in on it you hear.
i want to be there for you.

id wager we know each other well enough that i dont gotta bother waxing poetic about the respect you should already know i have for you.
so im gonna keep this short.
i dont think i would have trusted the job you got given to anyone else.
thanks.
i owe you one.

now you i think i might just owe for life.
youre doing what i never could and then some.
i wish i could repay you.
but i cant on the terms i know youd give if you ever gave them.
i got very little business trying to become anyone elses family.
i barely got business being family with the flesh and blood i already got.
sorry.

if i had to do it all over again i wouldnt pick anyone else to go through hell with.
we were good.
we were real good.
and im not too proud to lie and say i dont miss you.
because i do.

i miss you a lot.

youre a fucking freak and i still dont know how you managed to survive the war.
goddamn.

what you did was fucked up.
and ive seen fucked up.
i hope it clings to the conscience im generous enough to believe you still have.

over the years i had a handful of wet dreams about killing you.
needless to say when it actually happened reality didnt quite live up to fantasy.

im too old and tired for this shit.
im pretty sure we both are.
especially when we already got a good thing going.
going about jeopardizing that is the last thing i wanna do.
but i think we get each other.
and no matter where this does or doesnt go thats enough for me.

also dont take the old and tired thing the wrong way.
youre still smokin.
just putting that out there.

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10 things

D413!Bro

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four whoops i haven't been numbering these

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