herp derp two man strider pile

[brojob]

[Holy hell, sleeping in the same bed as another person is fucking stifling.

That's pretty much the first thought in Dirk's mind upon waking up, shortly following the split second of confusion as to why he feels like he's been swaddled in blankets and stuffed into a furnace. And the even longer moment of not being sure if he likes it or not. And the even longer moment after that that still hasn't ended where he's not really sure how they ended up like this. Because that blond head of hair definitely does not belong to Roxy, or even Rose. In fact, nobody is this bony, except for-

Ah. Well that little peek under the covers explains it. Sadly, it doesn't also explain exactly why his pants are missing. That part is still pretty much eluding him.]

Comments

[ticktocks]

[ dave's only present experience with sleeping anywhere near anyone else is when he was a baby or when he went through his teddy bear phase, or that one time when he passed out clinging to karkat's leg because they both bickered until they were too tired to detach from each other and go to bed, but that doesn't really count. obviously this is vastly different from that. by a lot.

the movement beside him makes him stir and groan faintly, face turning into his bent arm and the grip of his other one—slung loosely around dirk's middle—tighten a little. he stretches a little but ultimately does his best not to wake up. it's too early. he's too comfortable, if not a bit too warm. and whoever is next to him is soft and smells good, so fuck that. ]

Mmn.

[brojob]

[Well... shit. What now. Because the urge to just up and flashstep the hell out of here is pretty high, but it still won't help him make heads or tails of this. And boy, he can guess, but none of his theories sound terribly appealing. Or reassuring.

And hey, maybe it's not really as bad as it looks. After all, the last thing he remembers is feeling warm and sleepy and dizzy; it's entirely possible that the two of them just decided to share a bed for completely innocent reasons muddled by tipsy logic, right?]

[ticktocks]

[ innocently sharing a bed while one of them is missing their pants and the other is just straight up naked, yeah. did i forget to mention that, because that's sure a thing. dave's only got the sheet, clinging to his skin, for cover and dirk's body for warmth and the fucks he presently gives are less than or equal to zero.

after a few moments, though, he can't seem to force himself to back to sleep and rouses again, face mashing against the pillow with a quiet sigh. it takes him awhile to open his eyes, but when he does, it sure doesn't take him long to wake all the way up, jerking in surprise. ]

Whoa, what.

[brojob]

[Yeah, that... that naked part is still also eluding him.]

I could ask you the same thing.

[His raised brows and lightly-pursed lips kinda say it all.]

[ticktocks]

[ dave figures out the situation pretty quick: he's naked, he's got his arm around dirk, they're in bed, his head feels like someone smashed it against a rock over and over while underwater... ]

What did you do?

[brojob]

I woke up. Before that, I fell asleep in this bed at some point. Other than that, I really can't say.

[Calm as ever. Which is funny, because he hardly even buys it himself.]

Why, are you gonna try and pin your nakedness on me? Because unless you can actually remember what the hell happened last night, that's pretty low.

[ticktocks]

I remember getting bewitched last night, that's what I remember. I was getting flirted with real filthy-like by the tempting, fickle mistress known as Lady Margarita-In-A-Can, and then—

[ ... uhhh. ]

And then someone had their way with both of us and set it up so we'd blame each other. The perfect crime.

[brojob]

Clearly.

[Seriously though, what the fuck. Because he's kind of starting to get weirded out by all this skin-on-skin contact. Particularly in the whole leg region.

Dirk just really wants his pants back, okay.]

[ticktocks]

Yep.

[ sooooo yeah... gonna go ahead and slowly pull his arm away from dirk and scoot away now, casually hogging any and all of the blankets in the process. he needs them more, okay.

this isn't awkward at all. ]

[brojob]

[Not one bit. Especially with the way he kinda sprawls out, rather glad to be freed from that snuggly cage of blankets. And especially when he realizes wow okay, he's just a little hard.

Morning wood. That's all this is. Yeah. Cool story, hormones.

Well whatever. He can just roll over and pretend Dave isn't there. Yeah. That's what he'll do. It's the perfect solution.]

Nothing's coming back to you?

[ticktocks]

Nope...

[ he says that, but when dirk turns he can see scratch marks and—dude, shit, those look like bruises all over his neck. his eyebrows raise up, way up, and he just lets his answer trail off for a long moment as he stares at all the marks.

did... did he do that? ]

Whatever happened, you got pretty mauled though, dude. You been in contact with any bears lately?

[brojob]

[Dirk tries to look over his shoulder, meaning to ask, but those dark marks stand out pretty clearly in the corner of his eye.

Holy fuck.]

I guess so.

[ticktocks]

[ dave reaches out to touch one, pressing a slender finger to warm skin. the spot he's touching is so bruised it's raised, dark purple and red. it's not like he has a flashback or anything, but there's definitely a shudder when it hits him that that is definitely his doing right there, no doubt about it. ]

Dang.

[brojob]

[Yeah, he just kind of has the slowly resurfacing recollection of heat and suction and he gets a tiny thrill of pleasure all the way down his spine to pool in between his legs just from the memory. Whether or not there was also a pair of familiar aviators pressed to the side of his surprisingly sensitive neck during that process rather eludes him, but part of him kind of thinks he already knows the answer to that.

Fuck.]

Yeah.

[ticktocks]

[ he has to just take a moment to trace his finger from one to the other, counting four in all just on that side, in that area that he can reach. his tongue sort of aches the way one does when you suck really hard at something and he remembers the night before just a little more clearly.

digging his nails in and scratching, clawing, biting down and then sucking hard and there was a lot of movement—

m-mm. ]

... dang.

[brojob]

[Well. Now Dave seems to know the answer to the question hanging in the air. Dirk doesn't even need to ask. But shit, he's gotta say something in regards to... that.

He just doesn't really know what.]

Find any clues, my dear Watson?

[ticktocks]

Maybe, but I can tell you right now there's nothing elementary about it.

[ yeah, dave doesn't really now how to come out and say that he's pretty sure he was the one doing the ravishing, but it's mostly because he doesn't know how far they went. i mean, he is kind of naked, but he's not... really sore or anything (i mean he would imagine you would get kind of sore when you lose your virginity so yeah), so. uh. ]

Either way I think I know whodunnit.

[brojob]

[Welp. Here's his chance-]

Do you.

[Dammit.]

[ticktocks]

[ welp— ]

It was me. Dun dun duuuun and all that.

[brojob]

[Yeah, he can't quite hold back the heavy exhale of breath at that. Shit, he really needs to rein his reactions in right now.]

You seem to recognize your handiwork pretty easy there, bro.

[ticktocks]

[ that's. well. it makes goosebumps raise all over his skin when he hears it, anyway, so there's that. ]

Just comes natural, I guess. That and I'm getting some really intense hangover flashbacks from beyond the edge of drunken madness.

[brojob]

Yeah?

[He's going to regret asking this.]

Then let's hear 'em. Compare notes and all that.

[ticktocks]

[ oh fuck that. he's having a hard enough time keeping his throat from getting tight, he has to swallow a little before he can even reply. ]

You first.

[brojob]

[Yeah, this was a shit idea.]

Honestly? I don't have all that much past the part where I stumbled into bed, in what I initially remembered being an attempt at helping someone far more wasted do the same. After that, it's all mad bro-cuddles and feeling like I had leeches stuck to my neck. Only filthier than how that makes it sound.

[ticktocks]

Not far off, I guess. Mad bro-cuddles with a whole lot less snuggling and a whole lot more biting and scratching and rubbing up on each other like there ain't no tomorrow.

[ yep. ]