herp derp two man strider pile

[brojob]

[Holy hell, sleeping in the same bed as another person is fucking stifling.

That's pretty much the first thought in Dirk's mind upon waking up, shortly following the split second of confusion as to why he feels like he's been swaddled in blankets and stuffed into a furnace. And the even longer moment of not being sure if he likes it or not. And the even longer moment after that that still hasn't ended where he's not really sure how they ended up like this. Because that blond head of hair definitely does not belong to Roxy, or even Rose. In fact, nobody is this bony, except for-

Ah. Well that little peek under the covers explains it. Sadly, it doesn't also explain exactly why his pants are missing. That part is still pretty much eluding him.]

Comments

[ticktocks]

[ he has to just take a moment to trace his finger from one to the other, counting four in all just on that side, in that area that he can reach. his tongue sort of aches the way one does when you suck really hard at something and he remembers the night before just a little more clearly.

digging his nails in and scratching, clawing, biting down and then sucking hard and there was a lot of movement—

m-mm. ]

... dang.

[brojob]

[Well. Now Dave seems to know the answer to the question hanging in the air. Dirk doesn't even need to ask. But shit, he's gotta say something in regards to... that.

He just doesn't really know what.]

Find any clues, my dear Watson?

[ticktocks]

Maybe, but I can tell you right now there's nothing elementary about it.

[ yeah, dave doesn't really now how to come out and say that he's pretty sure he was the one doing the ravishing, but it's mostly because he doesn't know how far they went. i mean, he is kind of naked, but he's not... really sore or anything (i mean he would imagine you would get kind of sore when you lose your virginity so yeah), so. uh. ]

Either way I think I know whodunnit.

[brojob]

[Welp. Here's his chance-]

Do you.

[Dammit.]

[ticktocks]

[ welp— ]

It was me. Dun dun duuuun and all that.

[brojob]

[Yeah, he can't quite hold back the heavy exhale of breath at that. Shit, he really needs to rein his reactions in right now.]

You seem to recognize your handiwork pretty easy there, bro.

[ticktocks]

[ that's. well. it makes goosebumps raise all over his skin when he hears it, anyway, so there's that. ]

Just comes natural, I guess. That and I'm getting some really intense hangover flashbacks from beyond the edge of drunken madness.

[brojob]

Yeah?

[He's going to regret asking this.]

Then let's hear 'em. Compare notes and all that.

[ticktocks]

[ oh fuck that. he's having a hard enough time keeping his throat from getting tight, he has to swallow a little before he can even reply. ]

You first.

[brojob]

[Yeah, this was a shit idea.]

Honestly? I don't have all that much past the part where I stumbled into bed, in what I initially remembered being an attempt at helping someone far more wasted do the same. After that, it's all mad bro-cuddles and feeling like I had leeches stuck to my neck. Only filthier than how that makes it sound.

[ticktocks]

Not far off, I guess. Mad bro-cuddles with a whole lot less snuggling and a whole lot more biting and scratching and rubbing up on each other like there ain't no tomorrow.

[ yep. ]

[brojob]

Well I guess that covers why my back feels like it's got a wicked case of rug burn.

[Because man, he feels kinda raw, even against the softness of his usual white tee. Fuck, that's hotter than it has any right to be, and his boner is definitely growing at the same rate that his stomach is sinking, because this is also thoroughly and severely fucked up. Whether or not that's only making the former worse is beyond him, and he kind of wants it to stay that way.]

[ticktocks]

[ so's dave's, honestly, and he's trying his best to hide it by virtue of scooting just a little further away and tucking the blankets between his crotch and dirk's... self. shh, nobody needs to know.

nobody needs to know he's getting hard while staring at his kidbro's back and touching all the marks on his back with his fingertips. between that and the memories he has swimming through his head, it's hard to resist. ]

My bad, I guess.

[brojob]

Not like it would have happened unwarranted.

[Gonna just come clean with that. I mean really, who's he really trying to fool?]

[ticktocks]

I can see you getting me into it, yeah.

[ at least, for him to get that fervent. those are some pretty intense scratch marks. it's just too bad they didn't do anything more heavy than—

ah boner. ]

[brojob]

Yeah, the incestuous blood is all on my hands with that one.

[... okay, maybe that was too much.]

[ticktocks]

[ "incestuous blood" isn't a sexy phrase at all but his sleepy raging morning dickrocket just does not care enough to not blast off. ]

I dunno, I'm the one with it under my fingernails.

[brojob]

[Dirk just remains silent for a while, staring long and hard at the sheets covering the mattress.]

So. What now?

[ticktocks]

[ a one-shoulder shrug, nudging the blankets off a little when he does so. ]

Beats me. [ speaking of which. ] I got some business to take care of, at any rate.

[brojob]

[Ah.]

No shit? What do you know, so do I.

[Is that a tiny, teasing smirk? Oh fuck, it is. Dave is just too tempting to mess with, even in a situation like this.]

[ticktocks]

[ oh god damn it dirk. he glances sideways. ]

Well don't that beat all. If I didn't know any better I'd say we got the same business practices in mind.

[brojob]

[Fuck, that wasn't an answer he was expecting.]

Yeah, but would a group venture be a good idea? After all, you gotta pick your collaborators carefully when it comes to this shit.

[ticktocks]

[ how does it feel having the tables turned on you, dirk. ]

Dunno, man, you tell me. I'd say I'm on an adventurous streak, but one, I don't even remember the last twelve hours, and two, I ain't never tried taking on a partner for all my crazy corporate scheming before. How do I know you won't try and swindle me out of my last boonbuck, is what I'm saying.

[brojob]

[The tables haven't turned, okay, he's just. Regrouping and coming up with a new strategy. Yeah.]

It'd take a right fucking bastard to do that to a newbie, for starters. And, y'know, someone who's probably a little experienced in the field. I'll level with you: I'm neither of those things.

[ticktocks]

[ ah, well, you don't say. at least it's nice that they're both speaking the same language here, which is to say that they suck at just coming out and saying anything in a non-stupid way. ]

Maybe that's just the up-n-coming kinda business the world needs, then. Nothing more pure and innocent than a couple of dudes not knowing what the fuck they're doing making capitalistic magic happen.